Saturday, December 13, 2008

Conversation with Mom

This was a few weeks back.. reproduced in Marathi..

मी : आई चांगली बातमी आहे.
आई : काय रे?
मी : पगार वाढला
आई : छान अभिनंदन. आता फॅमिली पण वाढवा
मी : hmm...

Parents never lose their focus :-)

Conversation with random recruiter...

Sometimes random recruiters call up and make your day :-)

Not verbatim but pretty closely reproduced..

R: Are you interested in positions in Microsoft Hyderabad? They have some openings in their Windows group.

Me: No, I am not interested in moving to Hyderabad.

R: Why?

Me: What do you mean "why"?

R: No just want to know what holds you back.

Me: (Thinks about saying wtf) No I just don't want to move.

R: Ok so in Bangalore we have positions with Yahoo. Do you want to try those out?

Me: Umm no.

R: Why?

Me: (Concludes the person at the other end of the line is a moron since she knows I work at Google) Because I am already working with Google and do not think that the current market scenario is the best to move to Yahoo..

Sunday, November 30, 2008

We the Bumbling: Do our politicians not even understand self interest?

Hours after one thought of voting for the BJP, one hears that the Advani and Rajnath Singh missed the all party meet convened by the PM because they were busy campaigning in Rajasthan. I say Mr Advani, why are you trying so hard to turn voters away from your party? The best campaigning would have been to attend that meet and playing the role of the opposition leader by taking the government to task and contributing constructively towards an action plan. On the other hand Vilasrao takes actor son and director Ram Gopal Varma to see the Taj devastation. Additionally, RR Patil, thinks small issues keep on happening in big cities.

Really, why do politicians in our country like to stick their head up their own ass with such amazing regularity, across party boundaries, I must add.

In other news, the Congress matriarch Sonia and the patriarch-heir, her son Rahul, are beating up all the incompetent mongrels that form the Government of India, especially the one named Shivraj, bad dog, no home ministry bone for you...

Update: And I forgot to mention how the Chief Ministers V.S. Achuthanandan and Narendra Modi were turned away.

Whom do I vote for?

Do I vote for the incompetent Congress government that failed to act on intelligence related to Mumbai attacks (and other countless let downs) or do I vote for the BJP that sees terrorism through communal goggles and are also responsible for freeing terrorists during the Khandahar hijack incident (and other countless let downs)? For lack of a better option I think I may settle for voting for the BJP just to give them a chance again.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Bail out Fail

So big car company CEOs travelled to Washington in corporate Jets to ask for a bialout :-) and several Congress members pointed out the irony. "Security reasons" pat came the reply. The logic behind going overboard on security for a top company boss typically is that if he/she gets harmed the business gets fucked up. However, in this case the business is already fucked up, isn't it?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friendly off the field...

So much was said by our friendly Aussie cricketers about how they play real hard on the field and then off the field they are soft and cuddly teddy bears. I wonder in the midst of all the on field hard play when did they manage to sneak in their book writing hobbies :-)

As luck would have it they got bowled out cheaply in the first innings against New Zealand. But again as luck would have it they are playing New Zealand. One of the few sides that can manage to under perform just about any sides. I say, hey New Zealand, show us a miracle, get the salt, the wounds are ripe for rubbing it in.. let your dear Aussie friends have it. I assure you I will gloat.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Raj Fuckeray

Check out yet another interview with stupid answers of our friend Raj Thackeray. In one of the answers he says
I read the order only a day later. It’s not that I disrespect the law. Joshi runs many institutes across the state, and if I had wanted, we could have created problems at most of them.
and right in the next he says
If you read the guidelines, it says that shopkeepers should have signboards in Marathi. The law has to be complied with.
I need to say this to Raj and Bala Fuckeray that the marathi manus is better off without you and your regressive politics and routine violation of law. You guys are scumbags of the highest order with brains made of cow dung which according to you is holy but unfortunately does not make very good material for intellectual development in humans.

Jet reinstates all sacked employees

Breaking news of the night: Naresh Goyal purports to have fathered 1900 full grown children in a single night under zero political pressure. Does he really want us to believe that he decided to take back the sacked employees because he could not sleep at night?

Update: Rediff: 'Sacked' Jet Air staffers taught Marathi lessons

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Canonisation, Amitabh and News

It is canonisation time over in Pope-dom. The funny thing is that the Pope himself is involved in the process of the Vatican rubber stamping the sainthood of a person. The person can then be offically worshipped without fear of persecution from the officials of course :)

I say, the process is kind of bureaucratic, ain't it? I will stretch it further and say that it is also very elitist :) Why should the church decide who is a saint and who is not?

Over in our land of Hindustan our daily lives are governed by bureaucracy but not our religion, you see! The Hindus are empowered! We can start worshiping whoever we want to. Everyone and everything is valid game.

We have gods and also goddesses. (Yes really we are quite an equal society that way when it comes to the male vs female thing nevermind the issues of skewed sex ratios though.)

We even worship stand alone human organs, genitals to be precise. We maintain equality of the sexes in this too, worshiping both the male and the female organs.

Sometimes we absorb Gods from other religions too by simply declaring the other God to be an incarnation of one of our Gods as in the case of the Buddha.

The really crazy amongst us have temples even for film stars.

Although I am an atheist, I feel this is where Hinduism beats the crap out of the monotheistic religions. We can deify almost anything when it comes to God and it fits well in our religion's (thankfully loose) framework. Regardless of the merit in worshiping someone in Hinduism it is ok for common people to canonize a person of their wish be it Amitabh Bachchan or a obscure sadhu baba.

And it is only fit that if we can idolize Amitabh as a God, it is also the duty of our news channels to report over-enthusiatically throughout the day if the God has a stomach ache.

PS: There is no restriction on who is worthy of deification althought there are cases where who can worship has created controversies e.g. we have sexist temples that do not like fertile women as worshipers over at Sabrimala. The website title says
Sabarimala-The pilgrimage is a symbol of love, equality, and devotion
with the following paragraph in the main page to justify the equality
Unlike certain Hindu temples, Sabarimala temple has no restrictions of caste or creed. The temple is open to males of all age groups and to women who have either passed their fertility age and those before reaching the stage of puberty.
Their definition of equality is just a bit different.. all are equal.. but if you are a fertile woman, tough luck, our equality function is not defined over your set.

Sister Alphonsa is now "officially" a saint

The big news is out that the nun from Kerala, Sister Alphonsa, is now a saint. News channels that otherwise do not consider milk-drinking idols worthy enough of being a miracle (and their coverage) are happily lapping up the news.

It seems that the reporters conveniently fail to question the basis of the process of canonisation as spread of superstition. Seems like the official stamp of the head honcho of the Christian world suddenly converts a superstitious belief into a miracle (in this case the curing of a persons deformity). Even if we assume for a moment that miracles are possible, the bar for recognizing a miracle seems to be pretty low considering that the miracle involves curing just one person. My heart goes out to all medical researchers. They are just stupid suckers spending their lifetimes trying to find cures for our ills. Humanity should just shut the fuck up and reach out for the miracle medicine treatment that the Vatican seems to believe in so much.

I recommend just one small change in the process for canonisation based on medical miracles. The miracle treatment should be tried out by the Pope himself when he has trouble with his human body (that houses his saintly soul) and then if it works with him he should make it official. I bet the Vatican will not be too keen to take on a process that involves medical trials :)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

No reporting on Amitabh's urine samples yet!

I am surprised that our 24x7 media has still not reported on whether the Amitabh's urine and stool samples were tested.. we (the breaking news consumers of this country) know about the x-rays but we want more gory details... tell us about the enema too perhaps, with when, why and "How are you feeling now sir?" interviews. Sigh! Our favourite channels have let us down again :(

How Bihar recovers from the floods is too mundane no?

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Religulous

There is some pretty hilarious stuff out on religion recently. Checkout the trailer of Religulous



Waiting eagerly to watch it.

Previously..

Sunday, July 13, 2008

I am thankful I did not study in this school :)


These are pictures from a school where I went to cast my vote during the last elections in Bangalore :-)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

My first vote.

Voted today for the first time in my life. Vote by elimination was the strategy and consequently circus artists in the BJP and JD(S) were out of the competition and the lesser(?) evil of the Congress was chosen. The experience in itself is pretty mundane. Possibly the day of counting will be more exciting as I await the result.